One day, baby, we'll be old.

Last week was the Year 13s' last week in school. As with many things I've noticed this year, the Germans are generally not as hardcore about things as us Brits. Leavers' days at my old school saw portacabins completely wrapped up in brown paper, classroom equipment moved onto the roof of the science block and chickens let loose in the staff room. The Germans were much more civilised. They dressed up a bit, got their reports and went home.

Naturally it made me nostalgic for my own school days. That summer after your A Levels, when your biggest concern is how long you're going to go on holiday with your friends for, and how much overtime you're going to do at work to save up those few extra pennies for Freshers. Alongside feeling envious of their long summer of freedom, this week has also given me a slight existential crisis. In a moment of panic, I realised that I am really no further forward in knowing what it is I want to do with the rest of my life than I was when I left school. I may be three years older than the Year 13s, but I certainly don't feel three years wiser.

In a way, I suppose, I've had to do a lot of growing up this year, and I'm certainly more independent than I was nine months ago. I've had my first taste of the adult world; of living on my own, doing a 'proper' job and setting up a life for myself somewhere new. This should have made me ultra-sophisticated and mature, ready to take on the world, right? 

Wrong. Despite all that I have experienced this year, to a certain extent I still feel like I'm a child in an adult's shoes - that I'm playing at being a mature and responsible person, when all the while I cannot wait to be a student again next year - the lifestyle, the comfort of the university campus, the nights out in fancy dress, the pints of purple and long lay-ins on Saturday mornings. Is that bad? 

For a little while last week I sank into an ohmygodwhatamigoingtodowithmylife-panic. I suddenly started researching internships, filling in employability questionnaires and adding pencil skirts to my basket on the John Lewis website. But then when I actually stopped and thought about it, I came to the realisation that it is ok to enjoy being young while you can. There will be all the time in the world to clip-clop around in fancy heels and have working lunches. But there is only one year left of being a student and for now, at least, that's what I'm looking forward to making the most of.

The big wide world is scary, and I haven't properly found my place in it yet. But I will do. I may have to botch it together along the way. But I will get there eventually. I read somewhere that, "To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid." Perhaps Mr. Old and Dr. Wise are friends for another day. For now, I think I'll stick with my good pals Young and Stupid.

Emily